How to transform darkness into light

Expose your inner darkness, accept it and forgive it.

I am writing this part of the book whilst on a flight back to Manchester having been away on my own. I had reached the point of exhaustion at home; I was the heaviest weight I’d ever been, and my happiness factor was low. I was lethargic and completely out of balance. I knew what I needed to do, yeah you know it too. Retreat.


My soulmate, Lionel, took charge of all my caring duties and the causes of my stress (mostly regarding my mother) back home and I disappeared to Bali, my spiritual home to indulge in a 21-day Panchakarma Ayurveda healing retreat at Amtra Siddhi in Nyuh Kuning Ubud run by the most amazing doctor, Dr Sujatha.


The Ayuvedic healing was wonderful, the retreat was so peaceful and the accommodation incredible. I knew I had more work to do than just the physical, so I had some emotional Soulful Theta Healing Sessions with Dr Sayjatha who convinced me of the following:


1. I have a right to be happy. I can say no. I don’t have to please everyone all the time. I am worthy, I can do as I please. My first session was releasing guilt of always having to please everyone and not being worthy.


2. Money – I felt stuck. Dr Sujatha asked me about my childhood and if I had been criticised. I explained about my head teacher at the grammar school who told me I was not intelligent enough to be a vet, when I expressed an interest in the profession. Dr Sujatha also extracted much of the criticism I had experienced from my ex-husband, she put me into a peaceful place and asked me to put my hand on my heart and repeat affirmations while she held my other hand and connected to my body’s psyche. She asked me to repeat after her, “I am clever.”


Pow! This made tears burst out of my eyes and my stomach wrench in sadness. I’m sure it was my body releasing the pain I experienced for 45 years of not being thought of as clever, or certainly not being told so.
She then continued for me to repeat these words:


I believe in myself
I trust myself
I allow myself to earn money
I am responsible
I am responsible with money
My services are valuable
My skills are respected

And then she got me to say, “I release all negative messages and energies from my past relationship.”


Dr Sujatha did a magical job on healing; it was painful but professionally and profoundly well done with such love.

The Panchakarma 21-day retreat helped me lose 8 kg 17 lbs in weight. People on the retreat noticed and commented, “Wow! You look stunning, you are glowing Dr Dawn.”


I felt so privileged at being called Dr Dawn by all the team at Amrta Siddhi. This made me feel so special. One guest asked what my Doctorate was for and I said, “I’m the Doctor of Happiness,”. She responded by saying, “You are Dr Dawn, the Spirit Doctor as you are so passionate, you inspire everyone’s spirit that you meet.”


I did lots of my Feng Shui Astrology readings at the retreat, if I met anyone born in the northern hemisphere, I’d jump on them and give them guidance on their Soul Purpose, Emotional Passion and Physical Power. Also, whilst there, I spent time with another guest, a lady with cancer and discovered that her issue was really her own mind. I noticed how she spoke to the therapists. How she ordered them around as if she was superior to them. No please or thank you left her lips.


So, I slapped her on the arm and told her off. I explained how gratitude and appreciation is the source of love. Please show your helpers’ love by saying please and thank you. She pointed at her throat and just whispered, “I can’t as I can’t speak”. I showed her the hand gesture of putting her hands in the prayer position on her heart. A beautiful gesture of gratitude to share with those around her. I also asked her about her morning routines and if she had any spiritual practice to support her on her journey to wellness. No, she replied. I shared with her my morning ritual song with I perform with Lionel when we are at home together.


Morning Ritual Song:
Every little cell in my body is happy
Every little cell in my body is well
Every little cell in my body is happy
Every little cell in my body is well
I’m so glad every little cell, every little cell in my body is well
I’m so glad every little cell, every little cell in my body is well.


I also shared about how singing mantras can help soothe and calm her busy mind. I made her videos of:

  1. Every Little Cell Song
  2. Happiness Mantra – Lokah Samasta Sukhino Bhavantu
  3. Unblocking Obstacles song – Om Gum Ganapataye Namaha.
  4. Healing Mantra – Om shree Dhanvantre Namaha.

Oh, wow, she loved them. The other thing she needed was help finding a companion carer. She lived alone in Sanur Bali on the beach. I told her all about the amazing companion carer we had found for my mum, and I agreed to help her do a job specification so she could advertise for one.

Dr. Sujatha heard about me helping her and so many others and reminded me that I was on this retreat to nurture myself not others. That’s a toughie when it’s in your nature to help and support others.


I made a note of what she had said and stopped jumping on people. I decided to take some quiet time alone, writing and reflecting.

I also felt I wanted more release particularly after feeling how my ex-husband had influenced my lack of confidence in later life, so I went to the healing centre at the Yoga Barn in Ubud. Here I was drawn to two healers:


1. Psychic Surgery with Punu
2. Cranio Sacral Therapy with Adolph


Psychic Surgery with Punu.

I believe in following your intuition. Punu’s picture emitted a beautiful authentic energy. So, at 10.00am on 12th April 2019 I had Psychic Surgery.


Punu prepared his altar and made his little healing hut by the river into a place of sacred pure energy. We sat down, and he asked me why I was there and what was my objective for our session. I was very clear, I wanted to psychically remove any Karmic attachments or energy from my ex-husband that was holding me back. He went silent and told me that we must not blame anyone else for how we are or how we feel. It is up to us to release these feelings. I must do it myself.

He put a chair in the middle of the room and asked me to sit on it which I did. He asked me to close my eyes and he put on beautiful music. I sensed him circling me and I know he was calling in his helpers from the higher realms. He asked me to speak out loud and communicate clearly to all the people who had hurt me in my life.
To speak to them directly as if they were present with us. Wow, so many came out.


Oh my, the pain and rage that emotionally came from within me. The pain in my stomach and womb was intense, I felt as if I was being stabbed.


Punu told me to calm myself and asked what colours and shapes I was seeing. I could see a red triangle with its point on the top with a violet star on the top (I had no ideas of its relevance). He then asked me to speak out loud again and forgive all these people and ask for forgiveness for all the people I had hurt in my life. The tears flooded and flooded. I had so many people to say sorry to and so much hurt to forgive.
Over the space of a lifetime so much emotional pain happens to us and we create so much pain for others.
When you lay it out before you and realise how you have affected others and been affected by others, it takes some serious work to remove the emotional chains. Oh, how I cried and cried, releasing all my sorrow and sadness.


Punu guided me through. Forgiveness was the key.


When I’d released all my pain, Punu put some beautiful music on and allowed peace and silence to arrive before I opened my eyes. We moved by the window to the therapist’s chairs and I drank lots of water. I could not say thank you enough to Punu.

Punu said to me that my older daughter is my guide, “Dawn, she is your Angel – listen to her and what she suggests. She knows what you need to become whole.”


If ever you get change to visit Punu at the Yoga Barn, Ubud in Bali, please do.


Cranio Sacral Therapy with Adolph.

Cranio Sacral Therapy with Adolf was fascinating. Adolph asked me why I was there, so I told him about my tinnitus. He said he could not heal me, he had not had success in the past so I asked him what he could do. He told me Cranio Sacral therapy was about balancing the skeletal structure and meridians of energy in the body. He also stated he was an advanced kinesiologist and said he could test my organs.


Following his explanation, he instructed me to lie down on the bed so he could do some muscle testing in my stomach area. He said I had a slight infection in my kidneys and that Colloidal Silver was the cure, just five teaspoonfuls a day.

He advised me to go to see my doctor back home and ask for my blood sugars and urine to be tested. I think this was to prove to me that what he was saying was right. His advice to me was to completely cut out refined sugar. It was not good for me. Low sugar from natural fruits are fine but I should avoid anything else.


Simply amazing. He was able to detect problems and give me the cures without any symptoms manifesting themselves into a real illness.

The more we trust alternative methods to detect problems before they become serious, the healthier we’ll be.
I loved his Cranio Sacral therapy. When he touched the back of my head and my skull, I could feel energy flowing and moving all around my body, it was just astonishing.


I highly recommend Adolph at the Yoga Barn, Ubud in Bali.